May 21, 2013

 

Being a parent is the most difficult & most rewarding thing that I have been given in this life. 

I have been blessed with 3 of my own children and a step-daughter. 

All beautiful souls with VERY different personalities. 

As a family, we have our good days and we have bad ones too. 

Being a blended family makes it even more challenging. 

We didn't start out together from the very beginning. 

We're building and learning as we go. 

And that is tough!

I've learned that individually, with no one else around, they listen great. 

Get all 4 kids together and it's a different story.

With 4 kids there is way too much distraction and they rarely listen to anything!

When they don't listen, I let me temper get the best of me.

I'm not patient.

I yell & scream.

I threaten to take things away and don't always follow through.

The worst thing is, I'm not consistent in my discipline so why would they listen.

What kind of example is that to set for your children?

Things get way out of hand some nights and it seems to always happen at bed time.

I have to repeat myself over & over & over again over the most simple tasks.

Things that they do every night.

I get so frustrated & it ends up a fight with them every single night for the most part.

A fight over things that should just be done with out me asking.

On these nights, I turn into this person that I don't like.

When the fight is over and they're in bed and all is quiet, I feel like a failure.

I know that I can't be the perfect parent, what parent is?  

The first thing that always comes to mind after everything has settled down is,

"Wow, I really over-reacted!" and I begin to second guess myself. 

Am I asking too much of the kids for them to pick up their clothes that they throw on the floor?

To actually brush their teeth when they're told?

Should I have to tell them? 

Should they listen to me the first time and not the 5th? 

Is this just the small stuff that I shouldn't care about?

What am I doing wrong? 

Why do they just ignore me when I talk?

Did I do too much for them when they were really young?

And now they're incapable of doing for themselves?

Or is this normal for kids their age to still rely on their parents?

Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with doing these things for them if it is normal.

Maybe my expectations are too high.

I'm really not sure.

I'm learning as I go, and this is really, really difficult to figure out.

This being a parent thing.

Because I want the best for my kids.

I want to teach them what they need to know to grow up & be independent, successful adults.

Maybe I should expect all of these things out of them, but just be a little more patient?

I'd definitely feel much better if I could figure it all out!!